Lara Croft vs Harley Quinn
by DBAB
Summary: When Harley puts her hands on Lara's property the fight is on.


"Here it is." Miss Lara Croft boasted as she placed a small wooden box down onto the desk in front of her. "Straight from Zaire."

On the side, facing the young lady was a short balding middle-aged man. "And you've no doubt that this is the gem of destruction." He asked, doing his best to contain the sheer excitement over having the artifact right there in his office.

Lara crisscrossed her arms in front of her. "If there was any doubt, Mr. Brown," She said somewhat insulted by the insinuation. "I wouldn't be here."

"Of course." The other recanted realizing his mistake. "It's just that I…I mean, the Gothem Museum has put a lot of time and money into obtaining this…object. We have to be careful."

With all the enthusiasm of a child at Christmas the curator reached out for the box. Before he could even touch it, however, Miss Croft slammed her hand down onto the top of it. She placed her other hand on the edge of the desk and leaned forward.

"I have too have be careful." She said somewhat coldly. As she spoke she pulled back the edge of the black leather jacket that she was wearing revealing a nine-millimeter pistol holstered under each arm.

Mr. Brown nodded in understanding and slowly moved his hands away from the box. Instead he reached down to one of his desk drawers, opened it, pulled out a checkbook, and flopped it down on the desk.

He was just reaching out for a pen when there was a small tapping at his office door. He stood up and grumbled to himself as he made his way across the room.

"Sorry." He apologized to his guest. "It's probably the cleaners." Then turn his attention to the door.

"One second." He said grasping at the door knob. With one swift movement he unlocked the door and opened it.

When he had done so he was surprised to see that he was not greeted by the cleaning lady at all. Instead it was a young lady with blonde hair separated into two long pigtails. At the end of each tail the hair had been colored…black on the left and red on the right to match the skin tight full body leotard of the same colors that she was wearing.

Mr. Brown gasped at the sight. He recognized Harley Quinn immediately from the news of her recent escape from Arkham Asylum.

As soon as the door was open the criminal pushed her way in, grabbed Mr. Brown and shoved him backward so that he fell right into Lara sending them both into a heap on the floor.

After that it only took her half a second to spot the box containing the valuable gem on sitting unprotected on the desk. Immediately she let out an excited coo.

"For meeee?" She chimed as she sailed into the room and right up to the treasure. She picked I up the box opened it slightly to make sure the gem was inside.

"Thanks peeps!" She said with a little giggle once she was sure what she had. Then she to the window across from the desk, broke into as fast a run as she could manage in the small office and jumped straight through the glass sending shards of window flying in every direction.

Lara struggled to her feet again and ran over to the broken window to see if she could see which way the thief had gone. Just below them was an alley. Everything in it was draped in deep shadow. Even with the glow of the street lamps from the street just ahead it was too dark to see anything clearly.

"What was that?" she asked, turning back into the room.

Mr. Brown was just pulling himself up off the floor. "Harley Quinn." He told her. "She crazy! She just jumped right through that window. That's a two-story drop."

Lara looked out the window again. It was a good a twenty foot drop to the street. It was an an easy jump to survive but she knew from experience that making a good landing of it and getting away afterward was not. Indignantly she began to crawl out the window in pursuit.

"You're not going after her are you?" Mr. Brown pleaded.

"She has my property." Lara replied matter-of-factly.

"But she's dangerous."

Lara turned back to the museum curator. "So am I." She replied then turned and leapt out into the night.

They young adventurer landed as ungracefully on the cement as one would suspect of anyone leaping out of a second story window. The maneuver was not, however, without merit. Just as she planned she landed only a few feet away from her motorcycle.

Mounting the bike she turned on a small GPS tracking device that she had attached to the front consol. The screen lit up showing a crude layout of the streets of Gothem City. A small orange dot appeared along one of the streets moving rapidly across town.

She kicked down to start the engine and the motorcycle roared to life then peeled out after her prey amidst a cloud of smoke. In only a matter of minutes she managed to catch up to her opponent.

Harley was just ahead of her now speeding through traffic on a green and purple motorcycle. Lara pulled around a few cars until there was nothing between her and her target. She hit the accelerator and zoomed forward until the two were right next to each other.

Harley was ready, though, having seen her pursuer approaching in the mirror. With one hand she grabbed a small yellow aluminum baseball bat that was attached to one side of her motorcycle. She adjusted it weight in her hand the twisted it around until an oversized smiley was visible along with the words "Have a Nice Day."

"Time to go to work. Baby." She told the weapon then swung it backward with as much force as she could muster. Lara broke left just barely avoiding an impact with her head. This girl wasn't playing.

The tomb raider reached under her jacket and drew one of her pistols. She aimed it directly at the other girl.

"Stop the bike!" She yelled.

Harley took one loom at the gun, stuck out her tongue, then slammed on the brakes. Instantly the green and purple mount dropped back into traffic and stopped right in front of an SUV causing it to swerve out of control into a guard rail.

Meanwhile Lara's bike sped forward a good distance before its operator could slow down and swing back around. The two combatants were now facing each other, both staring at the other through cold eyes.

Harley blinked, or rather winked, first. She put her bat away, twisted her motorcycle around and sped off down a side street. Lara returned her pistol to its holster and followed right behind her matching turn for turn right into the parking lot of what looked like an abandoned factory.

The chase raced around to the back of the property where a large open warehouse sat with its doors wide open. Harley headed straight for it. At the same time, she tapped a few buttons on the front of her bike causing a small touchscreen to light up in the center of its consul. The only thing displayed on it was a giant red button. She looked down on it and smiled maniacally, then slammed her palm down on top of it.

Suddenly the ground in front of Lara exploded sending clouds of dirt and dust high into the air. She was only initially saved because Harley's timing had been off by a fraction of a second. Even so, Lara was still heading right into a field of exploding earth and she was going too fast to avoid them all. She dodged another explosion, even closer than before. This time the shockwave alone almost knocked her onto the ground. Acting as quickly as she could she hopped up onto the seat and back flipped off the bike.

She landed safely on both feet just in time to see her motorcycle barrel headlong into another explosion sending the vehicle hurtling back toward her, missing her by only inches.

When the smoke cleared, Harley Quinn stared blankly back at Lara in disbelief that her new nemesis was still alive. She had stopped to witness the demise of this girl yet somehow, she kept on surviving.

"Ugh!" She screamed in frustration. "You're as bad as that stupid bat!"

Lara pulled out her nine-millimeter pistols and pointed them straight at the other girl. "No." She corrected. "I'm worse."

In frustration Harley hit the accelerator on her bike. More dirt and dust burst into the air as she powered forward.

Lara squeezed the triggers on her pistols pounding the motorcycle with multiple rounds. Suddenly, the engine locked up and the vehicle tilted forward sent its rider souring through the air and then crashing head first at Lara's feet.

"Ok…you win." The now bruised and battered supervillain gingerly stood up keeping her hands in plain view. Blood was running down her face from a giant gash in her forehead.

"Give me the gem." Lara demanded, her pistols still trained their target.

"It's…it's up my sleeve." Harley pointed out slipping her right hand into her left sleeve. As she did she took an unbalanced step forward. It was enough to cause Lara to take her eyes off her opponent for a moment.

Harley only need half that time. She jerked her arm out of het sleeve and thrust a stun gun into Lara's ribs sending the tomb raider crashing to the ground and dropping both of her weapons.

"I always keep an ace up my sleeve…an Ace stun gun that is." Harley giggled at her own joke then bent down and picked up one of the pistols off the ground. She staggered forward and pointed the weapon directly at her opponent's head.

For some odd reason, however, Lara didn't look at though she was scared or defeated or anything that most people looked like right before they died. It was just the opposite; Lara Croft was smiling. Something in it clicked with her. It made her almost feel guilty for what she was about to do…almost.

"I love a happy death." The other said pulling back the hammer of the pistol.

"I doubt you'd find it as funny as I do." Lara said. "Look up."

It was such an unusual thing for someone to say to her that Harley complied. High in the sky, a bright beam of light was silhouetted across the dark clouds. At the very center of the light was the image of a big black bat.

The once happy clown villain turned pale at the sight. "Crap!" she exclaimed and stamped her foot.

Lara took advantage of the distraction. She grabbed her opponent by one leg and flipped her onto the ground while at the same time rolling to her feet. The pistol that Harley had been holding dropped harmlessly to the ground. The young lady picked it and its nearby twin up, holstered one and put the other at her enemy's head just the way had been done to her. For added security she placed a boot right on top the other girl's neck.

"Now here's the question." Lara said. "Will you be alive or dead when he gets here?"

Harley smiled through gritted teeth and reached into the inside if her leotard and pulled out the gem.

"No hard feelin's?" She groaned as she handed the gem over.

Lara took the prize and holstered her pistols. "Of course not." She replied. "Have a nice day."


End file.
